thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's shark week go big or go home
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
