I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
