I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
