I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
...so i touched it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
