You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
