What a fucking waste of an outfit
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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