He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
