I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
