i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
