why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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