Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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