Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
