Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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