I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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