i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
