I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
