Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have aggressive nipples.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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