Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
