haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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