He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you win again, gameday.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So much rum. So many feels.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
