I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
