i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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