Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
