Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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