I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
