Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
