And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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