Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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