Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
