Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize