He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
