were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
