Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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