The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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