I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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