Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
