I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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