i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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