So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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