So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
