You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He better not be in your backpack
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
