i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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