the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
