did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
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I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.