Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
