i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
