Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
