She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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