Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
