she looked like the before picture.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
