What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
