You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize