i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
splinters make it hard to masturbate
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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