what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
