watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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