No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
