I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
