so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
