Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
