Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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