New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You made out with two different species that night
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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